Tough Love

(Above: "The Brazilian Circus- Here, YOU are the clown!")

My relationship with Brazil is like any other; it has ups and downs. The last three weeks have been the most challenging I've ever faced here. While adjusting to life in a new country is inevitably hard, it just seems like EVERYTHING has been going wrong at the same time. First, my flight got cancelled and re-scheduled. Then, after arriving, I went to get cash from the ATM but it kept saying "invalid PIN number". I had to virtually max out all my credit cards while waiting for my bank to re-set my PIN number and for my first grant disbursement to go through.

Things just went downhill from there: my cellphone wouldn't work, I couldn't find the right adapter to charge my laptop, I got knocked down by a burly dude while trying to board the subway, I got lost and missed an interview with someone, I got treated like a nuisance at EVERY establishment I entered (even when I spent a lot of money), I got tongue-tied trying to order at a restaurant, I couldn't figure out the paperwork to change my VISA, I was faced with the daunting task of acquiring a Brazilian ID, my landlord flagrantly broke our rental agreement knowing I have no way to fight back, etc. My poor husband has been bearing the brunt of my overseas misfortune. He's the one that had to go into the bank and plead on my behalf, he's the one who had to send an urgent Western Union so I wouldn't go completely broke and he's the one who has had to listen to me rant over Skype about all my problems. I've been so wrapped up in keeping my head above water and trying to stay sane that I've really taken his help for granted lately. I'm trying to make it up to him now.

The Western Union issue has been a perfect example of how huge my adjustment to Brazilian life will be. It was such a simple thing but became so ridiculously complicated that I nursed a burning hatred for Brazil, Brazilians and everything about my stay here for several days. I haven't felt calm and objective enough to blog about what happened until now. Brazilians have an odd and infuriating tendency to be selectively rigid about rules. Bureaucratic processes in Brazil are insanely difficult, expensive and confusing. Even a simple thing like cashing a W.U. money transfer took me 2 whole days! I went to the first bank (which was listed on their webpage as a W.U. client) and was told, after taking a number and waiting for an hour,that they "don't do that". Ok, fine. I went to the second bank and waited another hour only to be told that they "just started" doing those and "didn't know how yet" so, weren't willing to try. Getting angry. Third bank went like this --

"We can't cash that unless you have an account with us".

"But I'm a foreigner. I can't have an account with you. Money transfers are for INTERNATIONAL currency exchanges....that's why they were invented! You don't NEED an account!"

"I'm sorry. If you want to open an account with us then we can help you."

"How long would that take?"

"About a week or so."

"A WEEK? Forget it." (stomp, stomp, stomp)

Finally, I went to a Western Union office in Copacabana; figuring, surely THEY can cash this. I get there, show my passport, give them the transfer number and am told "this isn't you". WHAT?? They wouldn't cash the transfer because my "middle name" was missing and they couldn't verify that I was who I said I was. By this point, I've had it. My feet hurt, I'm totally drenched in sweat, I'm out of money and I'm raging. I got into an argument with the dude at the window and he promptly turned me away, advising me to add my middle name to the transfer account. I promptly called him a nasty name, advised him to go someplace unpleasant and stormed out. Not proud of myself but, after a whole day of craziness and idiotic excuses, I lost it.

Immediately after getting home, I called my husband and let loose-- re-telling the whole story and including every expletive known to man. He obligingly went to the local office and added my middle name so I could try again the next day. Long story short, I finally got money but it was a battle. Having to struggle for every single thing is easily my least favorite part of life in Brazil. By comparison, the U.S. seems so efficient, customer-friendly and reliable. No country is perfect, of course, but these last few weeks have been a crash course in Brazilian imperfections.

The honeymoon phase of my relationship with this country has undoubtedly ended. I'm having a hard time remembering all the things that I love about it. Surely, over time, I will come back around but, for now, I'm working through all the "tough love" I've been dealt. Intellectually, I already knew all these things about Brazil and Latin America-- the intricate bureaucracy, the dog-eat-dog mentality and rough and tumble nature of city life here.

That's the most annoying part, I think. I walked into the party knowing who would be there and yet was still surprised when I was right! If anything, these experiences have re-inforced my belief that all academics-- or anyone with a genuine interest in understanding another culture-- needs to physically live in it. It's easy to read in a book that Latin America has suffered and continually suffers from a lack of infrastructure and rampant legal impunity. It's entirely different to drive on streets with massive potholes that will never be fixed or to get your purse stolen and have no legal recourse whatsoever. When you FEEL these things personally, they aren't easily forgotten. Lesson learned. Now, I just need to re-learn the beauty of the way things are here. It's not impossible but will surely take a bit longer than before. And, of course, it could always be worse (knock on wood).

Until next time...